14 June 2013

Missing You


You took care of me as a baby and looked out for me into my teens. I've known you for twenty six years of my life and I am blessed for each one but it just doesn't seem long enough. 

On a beautiful summers day you thought me how to use a skipping rope in the middle of your kitchen. I can remember the laughter as if it was yesterday. You showed me how to bake fairy buns topped with icing and sprinkles (my obsession with sprinkles had begun!) and you showed me how to get the biscuit base of your delicious lemon cheesecake just right.


I remember the jumper you knitted me for my sixth birthday, it had daisies on the collar and pretty ribbons on the sleeves. I'm sure it took you ages to make and I had no idea or appreciated it at the time but it's a memory that always stuck with me. I want you to know that I loved it.

You had the softest skin which I will always associate with the bottle of Oil of Ulay (Olay) sitting on your dressing table since as far back as I can remember. When I'm visiting mam I always sneak some of hers and it reminds me of you. 

You liked to be called “Nana", nan or nanny just wouldn't do!  Going on the hunt for birthday cards with “Nana” on them was always a funny reminder of this. I went into Hallmark today to pick up a father’s day card and I realised I won’t be buying Nana cards anymore. 

I remember you and granddad took myself and the boys to the Phoenix Park to feed the ducks quite a bit, always making sure we never got too close to the water or ran too far from your sight. We were little terrors and of course never listened. Your poor nerves must have been shot! 

Now you are looking down on us, watching over us. Lots of things have been reminding me of you since you left and there have been a few split second moments when I've forgotten you are no longer with us and I thought to myself "Nana would like this, I must tell her later" Which made me feel bad. I just can't believe you're gone. My heart still aches in sadness and secret tears still flow but I have many happy memories which make me smile also. 

Your memory is my keepsake, with which I'll never part. 

Lot's of love,

Sarah


7 comments:

  1. Oh Sarah! This is beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss.
    Hopefully it will get less painful to think about, and the memories will forever be with you.

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  2. Aw Sarah, this was so beautiful and touching, my lovely old Nana was always 'Nana' too - it's so hard to think about someone not being there anymore, but I hope you always feel her near you and you have some amazing memories to look back on. xx

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  3. I know this must have been a hard one to write but it's so well done and filled with love. I hope the healing comes soon and some of the pain eases, it's never easy. We're all here if you need chats at any point. All the beautiful memories you shared together! Much love to you x

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  4. Such a beautiful post Sarah, so sorry for your loss- RIP Nana xx

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  6. Sarah, this post really touched me, my nana is in hospital at the moment after an operation just a week ago and I was really scared that I would lose her...I hope that I will be as gracious and considerate as you are if that day comes. Loved this post, it was a lovely tribute to a great Nana xxx RIP xxx

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